And I don’t mean Michael Phelps’ or LPs (if you’re not sure what that is, congratulations on being young.  It’s like a record – or if you’re truly still splashing about in your wellies in the fountain of youth – a CD, but way old-school).

Sometimes, I hear things that irk me.  Most of the time, I forget about them pretty much immediately, or as soon as I see something shiny or sparkly to divert my attention to the infinitely more important things in life, such as my cats, eyeshadows with wicked cool names, or solving issues like world peace and hunger, as I’m often wont to do, all at the same time.

Other things, however, just don’t seem to leave.  And when I am the recipient of such commentary, I look around me, just to see if I’ve somehow missed the fun house mirrors and fire-eaters.  And then I sigh, because I’m hearing the same things again.  Well, if I’m going to be 100% honest (or thereabouts), actually, I complain and whine and wallow for a day.  I may bring it up several times for a week.  And then spontaneously dredge it up 4 months later.  Possibly write a blog post.  You know – as you do.

My problem is the fact that hearing the same things over and over again makes me think the world has gone crazy.  A guy I think was kind of clever once said that the definition of insanity is: “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” That smartypants was Albert Einstein. Maybe you’ve heard of him? Well, it was either him or Benjamin Franklin. There is some debate on the matter, but regardless, some guy who was pretty smart said it, and it’s true.

Where am I going with this, you ask?  Good question.  I’m not sure. But, if I hear one more person tell me that I need more experience to do a job, my head may asplode.  And I’m not trying out for NASA. I’m talking about a job for which, might I add, I have oodles of experience, and I’m not just saying that because I’m biased, as I happen to know I’m frigging amazing – my mom says so herself, and you can argue with her if you want.  I wish you the best.

Two things come to mind:

1. The “You-Need-Experience-But-We-Don’t-Want-You-To-Get-It-Here” Syndrome: How can I gain experience, if no one will let me get it?  Is there a magical land where I can click my heels, and find myself surrounded by the mythical Experience Flower, which I can collect in a basket and then give to potential employers?  If so, I’d love to know where it is. Seriously.  I bet I could fly in that land, which would mean I could scratch another long-term goal off my To-Do List.

Also, I remember I used to complain to my mom that I couldn’t do new things, because I’d never done them before.  I was, like six years old.  Actually, I don’t remember this, but my mom surely does.  And she had a pretty simple response: “Of course you can’t yet.  You don’t know if you can or not, but that’s why you’re going to give it a try.”  Take that, Einstein.  My mama’s one smart cookie.  She’d hire me.

2. “You have the education, but not the experience.” Funny.  I’ve heard that before.  I’ve also heard the opposite, a long time ago but not so long ago.  So what’d I do?  Not that same thing, that’s for durned sure!  Who am I to argue with Einstein, or possibly Ben Franklin?  I went and got an MBA.  You know, I had some spare time and an extra $60K just kicking about, so I thought, “What the H-E-double-hockey-sticks – I’ll do it!”  It was a blast.

Well, actually, it was.  I can see that now.  Had you asked me during the degree, I might have just burst into tears.  Stress does funny things.What I’m getting at, slowly, is that I went and got the degree, and now people want the opposite.  That’s like telling Link that he rescued Princess Zelda, but you meant the other Princess Zelda.  He’s not going to be a happy camper, or whatever it is he was.

I am not saying I’m perfect (although I do feel I’m getting quite close), but I’m just saying that maybe people should try something out before they say they don’t like it.  Probably a lot of delicious foods and talented people would be missing from our colourful lives if everyone refused to try something new. Try it – you’ll like it.  Tiramisu, sushi, Lycra and Bay.  All good things.  Einstein and my mom said so, more or less.

Disclaimer:  I promise this blog won’t just be a soapbox for me to whine about the horrible injustice that has been done to me, but I can’t guarantee there won’t be whining from time to time.  It’s therapeutic.  Seriously.  You should give it a try.  But maybe wait until I’ve gone.  It’s so annoying to hear someone moan about the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.

Okay.  Step one complete – get blog.  And very important – make it pretty.  Done.  I actually think this may be too pretty. Not sure, we’ll have to see.

This is my blog.  The Blog of Bay.  Not sure what exactly I’m gonna say on here, but of one thing I am certain: It shall be earth-shattering.  Or entertaining.  Whatever you like.  Actually, I take that back.  It’s whatever I like.  Because it’s mine.

Anyway, I’m tired from searching through potential themes and waiting for divine inspiration.  So g’night, and I’ll be in touch soon.  I wonder how I post a picture on this sucka…