I don’t even know how I found this, but there are people out there who want to be mermaids so badly that they dress up with a monofin flipper and fake tail and then splash about with a dolphin kick.

What I enjoy about this product write-up (people make scrilla off of the tails, for real), is how it describes the tail as “much more realistic looking.” Um, you guys? A much more realistic-looking mermaid tail, as in a fake tail for a make-believe creature? I’m all for the fairytales, myself, but I’m not this far gone…

Seriously, friends. I couldn’t even make this stuff up. Well, actually, I could, but I swear I didn’t.  They have competitions and pageants and everything.

Am I the only one who wonders if a shark wouldn’t be more likely to bite a marauding—oops, I meant mermaiding—human? Because that’s pretty much the first thing I worried about. I mean, if the whole reason sharks bite people in the first place is because we confuse them with our sea-creature-like physique, then I would hardly be wanting to up the ante and look like a more convincing morsel.

What’s next? Unicorning?